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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

broken / a rant

Getting to Maroc. Qu'ell horreur! I have discovered that airlines have all gone downhill. All of them. Watch the TV show "Airline" for examples. There is little courtesy, little customer service, lots of waiting, incredible layovers, more incredible flight paths. The people in all countries seem to have lost any semblance of politeness (I cannot count how many people tried to run down my six - year old daughter in their haste) they push, shove and say incredibly rude things. They become antsy if because (for instance) my daughter (the aforementioned six year old) cannot move fast enough into her seat to suit them in their deep desire to get to the rear of the plane and store their overhead baggage. Christ. Maybe it was worse because of Christ anyway. We did travel during the Christmas season. (so much for joy and peace and goodwill)

This may sound self-pitying, but my body, due to the joys of fibromyalgia, feels broken. My body is broken. I want to cry. It hurts -physically,mentally, spritually. I feel useless. At Ch. De Gaulle airport - in a state of repair - I almost broke down. I wanted to be left on the runway to be run over by the next plane out. I almost begged. My body hurt, I was emotionally stressed and overly exhausted. When we arrived at our destination, I did cry. For about 2 hours. Then again in private, and then again 2 days later. My friends, who I thought I was travelling with, kept going on ahead of My daughter and I and I felt bereft. (Don't get me wrong, I love these friends dearly) You see there was this schedule and there was no room in said schedule for the young or the infirm. My husband valiantly put a foot out and that slowed them a tad.

I understand that a malady like fibro can be impossibly difficult to understand.(Maybe exercise would help) I don't understand it either. (Maybe exercise would help)The Frigging medical establishment doesn't understand it. (Maybe exercise would help)It's not fatal. You LOOK healthy. When your meds are working you seem healthy. It's a lie. Your body is broken. I can't unfold my body or fold it up if I have been sitting/standing for a period of time. Said sitting or standing may feel physically unbearable after oh - ten minutes, but changing your position takes a long time. (You sit or strighten one spinal disc at a time.) Unfortunately I discovered (again) that in this world of hustle bustle people simply do not have the time to wait. Oh and in case you were wondering ,exercise DOES NOT help, A little bit - yes, but anything beyond that makes IT WORSE. (The excercise thing really drives me nuts. It's all I ever hear. Do you excercise? Get some excercise. Excercise ought to help that! )

A Word to those travelling with disabilites. Take your time. If the trip is long BREAK IT UP into small pieces you can handle. Don't overdo it or there will be payback. Stay overnight at a flight change. It will cost more. Too bad. The cost is nothing caompared to the feelings of devastation you may experience. Save up an extra year if need be. Above All TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

In spite of all my moaning and groaning of this day, people, I do love you. Funny, that I should feel this when I hurt most. But really I do. Take care of yourselves. Be good to your family. Love one another. Please, let's make this world more bearable, even for those young or strong enought to bear it well already.


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